A family cruise diary — by me and my ten-year-old

Ocean Cay Marine Reserve is a private island in the Bahamas owned by MSC

We’ve chosen an MSC cruise (the line was founded by Italians and is based in Switzerland, so passengers are international, rather than predominantly from the US or UK) on its newest ship, Seascape. It was built with multigenerations in mind, including an aqua park, water slides and a rollercoaster on board, and we are sailing the Caribbean in spring (great weather and calm seas for us newbies). The price is another surprise for me: seven nights’ full board available from £649pp during school holidays (flights extra). Meraviglioso!

Days 1 and 2: Miami to the Bahamas

I’m bewildered to share with you that I shed a tear as the foghorn blasts and we sail from Miami, the parasols of South Beach looking like send-off confetti. MSC Seascape is 339m long, 20 decks high, with a capacity for approximately 5,500 passengers and another 1,500 crew. This experience should feel loud, brash, offensively lumbering, but it feels majestic, as if we are seafarers rather than holidaymakers. The scale of everything is so epic. I’m overwhelmed by emotion.

Our first stop is Ocean Cay Marine Reserve, a private island in the Bahamas owned by MSC. The paradise pit stop was once a sand-dredging plant until MSC took over, both to score green points — 5,000 trees have been planted, 64 square miles given marine-reserve status, 400 coral colonies restored — and to give guests easy access to the desert-island fantasy. Thus, you have golf carts ferrying grannies to snorkel spots, buggy-friendly ramps and pristine sands. Elisa and I aren’t quite convinced — Ocean Cay feels too contrived for us to say “we’ve been to the Bahamas’’ — but, when I ask fellow families whether they liked it, the island gets a unanimous thumbs-up.

Day 3: at sea

This morning starts by feeling a little flat — as if our adventure has yet to get going, and now a day at sea. So, nobody is more shocked than me to say that day three turns out to be our favourite. The ship charms our socks off, from family-favourite Froot Loops at breakfast to the late-night musical show Premiere. Elisa isn’t a kids’ club kinda kid, yet we manage to fill the day with activities we both love, from on-board basketball, 5D VR gaming and transparent flumes, to starlit hot-tub time, poolside bingo and sunset mocktails.

Elisa told Katie: “I want every holiday to be a cruise!”

Our teppanyaki chef has us singing along in time to his chopping knife; we marvel at the over-water glass “infinity bridge”; we laugh like drains at the comic from New York with his rendition of the cabin loo flush. And then we both stop every so often, all of a sudden, and remember we are doing this at sea, afloat, the ocean frothing below us, the horizon forever falling away behind. It blows our tiny minds.

This is when the penny drops for me, and I come to understand the attraction of cruising: it’s so effortless. If you’re elderly or have access issues, a cruise serves the planet to you on a plate. If you’re a parent, the ship is like an extra pair of hands, always dreaming up ways to entertain the kids, not to mention feeding, watering and cleaning up after them (one Portuguese passenger tells me a cruise finally gave her a break after years of housework-heavy villa holidays). And, if you’re under 16, well, in Elisa’s words: “I want every holiday to be a cruise!”

Days 4-6: Cozumel and Grand Cayman

The adventure ramps up with snorkelling in the Gulf of Mexico this morning, then stingray-spotting tomorrow on Grand Cayman. All sorts of pursuits are up for grabs on the shore excursions list (at an extra cost), including cenote cave swimming, visiting Mayan ruins, a taco-truck crawl, or a margarita-making class. We try new foods in Cozumel, such as queso fundido — chorizo, melted cheese and hot sauce — and practise our Spanish at the market, bargaining over a leather satchel. In George Town, we sail out to Stingray City, where the rays glide silently below like subaquatic robot vacuum cleaners, then we eat conch soup on the beach and watch barracuda swim by. I’m keen to see and eat authentic things we could only find in our destination, and by the end of the day, we can almost say we’ve “seen” Cozumel and Grand Cayman. But Elisa is still excited to return to the ship at embarkation time, and — confoundedly — so am I.

Day 7: Jamaica

We explore Ocho Rios under our own steam today — no arranged excursion. Going solo turns out to be a brilliant plan because we meet Mr Harmoni — taxi driver, tour guide and former cruise musician — who sings to us as we climb the green, tunnel-like drive of Fern Gully, and keeps Elisa entertained (he’s a dad of three) pointing out native fruits and flowers en route to Dunn’s River Falls.

MSC Seascape

We declare Jamaica our favourite port of the trip, even though we’ve only spent a few hours in each place. And I realise that’s the best way to think of a cruise itinerary: like extended, exotic lunch stops. If you expect to get under the skin of a place, you’ll be disappointed. But if you accept that each port gives just a flavour (not to mention the fact you could never hope to experience so many incredible countries in such a short time otherwise), then you’re on the right track.

Would I go on a cruise again? It’s a hard “no” if I’m travelling without children and want to delve deep into my destination. But it’s a resounding “yes” with kids. It’s also a “yes” if I’m island-hopping or discovering somewhere vast, such as the Norwegian fjords, the Nile or Galapagos. Because now that I know I love “ship life”, I’m already hankering after that next foghorn high. And this time I’ll have my hankie ready.

Elisa

Dear diary,

When I saw the ship for the first time, I couldn’t believe there were water slides coming out of the top; it was so big. It felt like I was in a dream. Our cabin was very nice, and my favourite thing was to watch the ship dock at each port from our balcony.

A red cushion star at Starfish Point

KIRSTY NADINE/GETTY IMAGES

Before our trip, I was learning about the Titanic at school and, though I knew our ship wouldn’t sink, I still looked for all the lifeboats. My friends said: “Good luck. Hope you make it back OK!”

Ocean Cay was lovely, but I didn’t really feel we went to the Bahamas because it was only the cruise passengers there; I wanted to meet Bahamian people. Cozumel, I liked very much! I loved the hand-painted pottery and bought a ceramic toucan from the market.

The shore excursions were very busy. So, Stingray City was amazing, but then too many people wanted to touch and kiss the rays. I liked Starfish Point better; I saw jellyfish and a baby starfish.

● 17 of the top Caribbean cruises
● Best islands in the Caribbean

Ocho Rios in Jamaica was the best port. We took a taxi with Mr Harmoni, who drove us to Fern Gully and Dunn’s River Falls; I liked that Mr Harmoni told us interesting facts on our drive, like that there are more than 500 different species of ferns at Fern Gully. The coconut cookies we bought at the local supermarket were delicious.

The most surprising thing about the cruise was how enormous the ship was. You’re not sure where to go, with all the different lifts and decks; it’s hard to navigate and find your way. The thing I loved most about the ship was the aqua park and big slides; I never thought you could find a water park on a cruise — because you’re already on water!

Katie Bowman and her daughter were guests of MSC. Seven nights’ full board from £649pp, including kids’ club access (msccruises.co.uk). Fly to Miami